Sometimes
sometimes, i wonder if i realize what im doing. The inability to have the motivation or determination to carry something out. Sometimes I wonder if my views on life are narrow, I try to be open minded, but maybe being openedminded sometimes leads to stupidity. Too trusting, not doubting.
What I really wanted to say
Will you marry me?…. in 31 years? when your 50? and if by any chance your still single?
These feelings might just be infatuation, but at least I know they’re feelings. But sometimes you just want to know your mattered. But i guess thats what people do, they accept what they have, cause sometimes its just all they have.
I can’t shake this feeling, im not even sure if its happiness or sadness, but theres a bitter feeling my face, one that makes you neither frown or smile. Sometimes I wish i’d be the one you wouldn’t forget. But of course i know thats asking too much.
I might not get 100 percent satisfaction by writing all of this, but i know i’ll get some. I want to know your reactions, or maybe even words when you hear or see the things i tell you, but some things are just left in mystery.
I’ve been having nightmares, but they begin with you. It always starts out great, I go up the escalator and there you are, waiting for me. I dash to yourside, and there you are in my arms, I wish that moment would freeze, and it does. It freezes and turns pitblack, and then this feeling comes. This fear that i feel while im sleeping. the fear of getting expelled from college. I have a 2.2 gpa, and anything below 2.0 is expelling standards. The disappointment my parents might have. The fear of not being able to live because i wouldn’t be sucessful without a degree. The hell am I learning anyways.
God hell, i haven’t blog so long, i forgot how relieve i get after finishing
